Name: Topher
Schooling: BHS Class of 2003
Occupation: Arting.
Likes: Complaining, Crayons, Construction Paper, Movies, Sleeping in and staying up late
Dislikes: Pain, School, Obligations, South Dakota, Obnoxious People
Bio: Topher is a man of many names. Chris-Shorty-Myrth-Topher! Topher also manages to be an overachiever by some strange twist of fate. This all ended when he decided blinking himself out of existence was a better idea than college.
Name: Maren
Schooling: BHS Class of 2003
Likes: Midol, hitting people with her butt, nakedness, Diet Ruby Red Squirt, side salads with fat free ranch, chocolate
Dislikes: Her boobs, KFC, dill potato chips, everything
Bio: The somewhat manic Maren enjoys complaining, but in a good way. She hopes to one day live with a cactus named “Fern.” She is Topher’s official soulmate. She is probably being elitist this very second. No one really knows.
Name: Alex
Schooling: BHS Class of 2003
Occupation: Starving Artist
Likes: Rocky Horror Picture Show, art, Tim Curry (who?), watermelons, being deep, woe
Dislikes: Being awake, sunlight, happiness, people
Bio: Alex likes to make drarwings. After a five month vacation to Bangladesh, Alex rejoined the cast of CPA to continue his hate campaign on Topher. Salvador Dali lives on through Alex’s nipples.
Name: Sonya
Schooling: BHS Class of 2003
Likes: Green Day, Nirvana, Weezer, in that order, Canadians, shiny objects
Dislikes: the phrase “DO YOU LIKE WEEEZER”
Bio: Sonya, with power of rage, can stop almost anything in its tracks. Unfortunately, she likes to go for the easy targets, like Topher. Her weakness is the power of shiny!
Name: Emma
Schooling: BHS Class of 2005
Likes: Beatles, NIN, John Lennon, pain, “Emma recommend”
Dislikes: John Lennon, in-fighting, long car trips
Bio: MEEP! HAIL SATIN! Emma is a mystical being that came about due to a chance encounter at fruit camp. She lived in a big scary house with little scary parents that drag her many places in the summer. Everyone loves Emma.
Name: Clint
Schooling: BHS Class of 2003
Likes: Bruce Lee, videogames, ninjas, Asian cinema, nihilism, Meatwad
Dislikes: ‘The Man’, reality
Bio: Clint is a man on the go. Expect grand things from him in the future. People everywhere simply can’t resist the Clintoris appeal! Clint would appear innocent, but leads a secret double life! If Clint were to achieve his life goals, he would cease to exist. We’re still waiting on that one.
Name: Kelsey
Schooling: BHS Class of 2002
Likes: Pink
Dislikes: Things that aren’t pink
Bio:Kelsey is very special. She is slowly converting the world to pink one person at a time. Emma will soon succumb. Kelsey believes in the Evol Lover concept. All will perish before her almighty wrath. Enjoy a Papa Murphy’s pizza today!
Name: Steph N.
Schooling: Central High School Class of 2002
Likes: Brookings kids, Aberdeen kids, lemons, Kompressor
Dislikes: Sleeping, sanity, apples, meaning
Bio: Long ago they say Steph decided to renounce her life in Aberdeen and move to Brookings for a better life and to have more bat sex hanging from the rafters. Steph believes in the power of jet planes. Nothing matters.